When I was younger, my dad said that in my teen years I would try to figure out who I am. In my 20’s I would figure out what I like to do, and I should therefore try out a variety of jobs, interests, etc. In my 30’s, he said I would start to narrow the focus of how God has gifted me. In my 40’s he said I’ll start to grow in the fruit and impact of those gifts, which I’ll then capitalize on in my 50’s, transfer in my 60’s, and share what I have learned in my 70’s onward. I’m not sure what the next few decades hold, but so far he’s been on point with his projection.
That has meant that in most of my 30’s, I slowly learned more about the unique ways God has gifted me. I knew we are all part of the Body of Christ, with different gifts working together to be a part of kingdom work, and I was trying to figure out what part of the body I might be. In my confident early 30’s, I saw myself as something like a leg. A strong action oriented part of the body that served multiple functions and was a pretty major part.
As I have grown in my 30’s, I have realized that I might be part of the lower leg, or maybe one of those two bones. I am fully expecting that in my 40’s I will realize that I am either a tendon or a ligament connecting one of those bones to something else.
I am realizing how He has designed me to play a small but no less significant part of his Kingdom work. It’s because I have realized how big and dynamic the Body of Christ is. As I get to work alongside and interact with more parts of the Body, I realize that my unique gifts and talents—while valued by and given by God—are less impressive than I thought. They are very needed, like all of our gifts, but fairly useless when isolated. The beauty and diversity of the Body of Christ has come alive more and more to me. We are all gifted differently, and that is incredibly necessary and by design. No part, no gift, is more or less important than another.
While I knew this in my head, really experiencing this has led me to appreciate others so much more in the past couple years. People that I might have gotten frustrated with because they work differently than me, or people that I would have been jealous of, have become vital assets and allies. I need their strengths and unique approach and have grown in my thankfulness for them.
This appreciation of the gifts of others and increased understanding of my unique design has done a couple things.
It’s also helped me appreciate strengths based leadership where we celebrate and lean into our unique designs and spend less time critiquing and working on areas of natural weakness. As I grow in understanding how I’m gifted—and how I’m not—It has become so much easier to delegate areas of leadership that come more naturally to others. This frees me up to focus more on what I am gifted to do. This doesn’t mean I don’t seek wisdom, growth, and maturity in my weaknesses, but it does mean that I spend less time trying to do everything myself and instead press into the areas I can do best, trusting other people to do what they do best, too.
Two things have helped me in gaining this insight and clarify:
First is insight from good bosses, colleagues, and mentors about what they see as my unique design and gifts. They can see with much greater clarity how God has made me because they have the gift of objectivity. I deeply value their insight.
Second is testing. Enneagram, Strengthsfinder, Myers Briggs, Working Genius, Judgment Index, and others have given glimpses of insight into my unique fit.
In this next decade, I want to continue to grow in my appreciation of others’ strengths and gifts. I want to be more predisposed to seeing the beauty and wonder in how God has designed his sons and daughters in his image. I want to be quick to empower others to use their gifts. I want to be watching for gifts I can call out and affirm in others.
The more I grow in understanding my own unique design, the easier this becomes. My security in knowing that God created me in unique ways, with strengths and limitations, slowly loosens the grip of jealousy and self-reliance and leads to appreciation and enjoyment instead. I know I have a long way to go, but that’s the fun of the journey, right?
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